#15 Power Couple Episode: Putting An End to People Pleasing


Welcome back to the Power Couple Episodes! This week Nicholas and Amanda are talking all about communicating through conflict, emotions, and how to stop people pleasing. Amanda shares that perfection is an opinion, not a definition and Nicholas brought vision into question and how couples can share that with each other.

Timestamped Show Notes:

  • [ 02:07 ] Managing Your Partner
  • [ 05:25 ] No More Nice Girl
  • [ 08:27 ] How Men can Honor Women
  • [ 10:48 ] Body Image
  • [ 12:42 ] Perfection is an Opinion
  • [ 13:57 ] Queens
  • [ 15:27 ] Communicating the Vision
  • [ 18:20 ] Growing Together



  • We’ve all gone through this of wanting to manage someone else’s expectations and make sure they are good. A lot of people think that the best way to have the best relationship is a happy wife, happy life. Sure. But there is this analogy of a man and his wife that every single morning they would go on a run together. At the very beginning of running, he was the one that wanted to go run and she was the one that was along for the ride. After a while, he was sick and tired of running, but his wife was so excited every morning to go do it that he was like, well, I guess I’ll just go run with her. So he acted like he was excited and then one day they get together and finally one of them blows up and says, I hate running. And the other person’s like, what do you mean you love running? It’s like, no, you love running. That’s why I’ve been doing this whole time and at the end of the day, all they were trying to do was trying to manage each other’s expectations and trying to make sure that the other person was happening in the other person is trying to make sure the other person was happy and then they both were doing an activity that they didn’t want to do to make each other happy, which means deep down they both weren’t really that happy rather than actually like managing and governing themselves and then giving out of an overflow without having to get connected to the outcome of the other person’s like world or expectation.
  • When you are in the stages of overcoming people pleasing or a “Nice” syndrome there are three crucial steps. Number one, know that you are loved, because when you know that you’re loved already, and truly believe God has unconditional love for you and realizing that he made you just the way that you are. This will really free you from people pleasing you because it will take the power away from any rejection or hate you receive. The second is treating yourself like a queen. The last one is honoring yourself, respecting yourself and knowing your worth. Don’t be afraid to share how you really feel, don’t be passive when you really aren’t okay with something.
  • A common thing that theme that we see over and over again in relationships is couple’s who aren’t on the same page with their vision simply because they aren’t communicating. Every once in a while it is good to have an outside perspective like another power couple in your community, or podcasts because it’s an opportunity to have an outside perspective on your relationship and grow together. People die inside if they don’t have a vision. So make it a point to communicate with each other. It doesn’t have to be good, it doesn’t have to be pretty by having some communication around what do you want and really have them write down like what things do they want, what do they want out of life, what do they want on to things, what do they want to grow in, you know, that’s something that they want to do and then support them in that and you do the same thing. And I think that’s such a huge basis of connection is communication. Choose every single day to grow together and it’s a choice and it’s a decision that you both have to make in your relationship.


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